This is the time of year when most people are thinking about the kinds of gifts they plan to give their friends and relatives for Christmas or the Holidays. Here is something I tried a few years back.
I have seven grandchildren spread amongst three of our six kid’s families. Along with the things I get them that I’ve been tipped off by their parents that they want, I’ve tried to use the Holidays as a time to teach them to focus on how much they have, and how important it is to share with those who have less. I felt this was a grandmotherly value to impart. This altruistic effort was met with varying degrees of success – in other words, almost none.
A few years back, I got a lovely catalog in the mail from Heifer International. It was filled with dozens of great gift ideas for giving poor people around the world different animals as gifts to increase their independence by raising something of ongoing value. The animals would help feed and support their families, as well as benefit their entire village.
Donors have the option of choosing between a whole host of different animals to give to people in different parts of the world. You could send heifers, goats, sheep, chicks, camels, llamas, honeybees, water buffaloes, pigs, rabbits, ducks and geese, etc. I decided that I would start small with animals my urban grandchildren would understand and would have seen before. That ruled out the camels and water buffaloes for my descendents. Also, it is much more expensive to donate for the larger animals like those.
For the first family containing three grandchildren, I donated goats in their names. I will keep their families anonymous to avoid embarrassing the grandkids as they get older. The Heifer people sent me a nice card with a picture of the goats so I could give it to my grandchildren for under their tree. The card told them that they had a goat given in their name to a poor family.
For the next family with two more of the seven grandkids, I donated a flock of chickens. I sent the card informing them that I had donated chickens to a poor family in their name. This was one of my Christmas gifts to them – the opportunity to feel good about helping less fortunate children and people at Christmas.
For the last family 2 grandkids, I donated a flock of ducks. Same deal as before. They got a card with pictures of ducks telling them that a gift of ducks had been given to some poor people in a village in Viet Nam in their name.
It wasn’t long on Christmas morning before the calls started coming in. First from the grandkids from the family that got the goat donation. “Merry Christmas, Grandma Joan. Where is our goat?” I tried to explain that the goat went to a poor child in a village in another country and it was given in their (the grandkid’s) honor. “When do we get it back?” Oh, God! This was so not working out like I planned. So I tried to explain how it was supposed to work that you would feel good in your heart to make a poor family be happy to get the goat for their Christmas. I could tell that they tried to understand, but they still thought they should have gotten a goat, too.
It wasn’t long afterwards that the next grandkids called and wished me Merry Christmas and informed me that their chickens didn’t arrive in time for Christmas. Come on, Parents, help me out here! So I again tried to explain that some OTHER kids got the chickens who really needed them and they were supposed to feel the joy of having made those other kids very happy. That was their part of the Christmas gift of the chickens – the feeling of joy in their little hearts for giving them.
By now, I am pretty certain that this was a very bad idea, and the lesson I was trying to teach just wasn’t getting across. When I thought more about it, I realized that my grandchildren were just way too young for such a teaching moment. They ranged from about 8 years old and on down. This was not a good stage of their altruistic development to think about OTHER kids getting THEIR goats and ducks and chickens. Perhaps if I had given away bees instead of cuddly chicks and ducks, I might not have gotten the same puzzled reaction from the kids. The grandkids seeing the photos of other people cuddling what should have been THEIR animals was just too much.
A while later, I heard from the third family. “Grandma, where are our ducks? We didn’t get any ducks.” By now I was wishing I had sent all of the grandkids some of these animals and let their parents sort it out. So I explained again about the joy of giving to others and that was supposed to be part of their gift. They were puzzled and disappointed about not getting their own livestock. I was disappointed that this warm, fuzzy idea I had was a complete flop. Paul and Dan were good about not saying “We told you so.” Cynics that they are, they sneered that probably nobody got anything except the Heifer company that got my donor money. Curses! I don’t believe the Heifer organization would do that. I just don’t want to believe that.
This year I see that the new catalogs (2013) have a deal where you can give an entire Gift Ark of animals to a poor village. I will probably get their catalog long after I am dead since I sprung for the animals once – years ago.
Two of each of the animals pictured here. It cost $5,000 to give this Gift Ark. It is meant for churches and organizations who would like to participate in the Heifer program. I’m glad I didn’t start with this option! I notice that with the Gift Ark option, you can give guinea pigs to people in Ecuador “To help families in Ecuador add protein to their diets and increase income.” Yikes! I think they eat guinea pigs in Ecuador? How bad to give cute, cuddly guinea pigs to Ecuadorean children who plan to raise and EAT them. That would have been even harder to explain to my grandchildren, than the fact they themselves got no animals at all, and that they were supposed to be happy about that, besides!
So if you have older grandchildren, this gift of animals to poor village families might be a lovely gift option. My recommendation is that you wait until they are about 35 before you try this. As I’ve watched my grandchildren grow up and mature, I still don’t know that it would be an easy thing to convince 10-year-old grandkids that giving THEIR baby ducks and chicks to some OTHER kids will make them feel happy.
Happy Holidays to all of you. Maybe this year, if you are generous or lucky, you’ll get or give a camel for a gift.
carpyharpy 